Time For Love

My son has been going to music lessons every week for about 6 months. He loves them. My husband and I were so thrilled when we picked him up after his first session and we could see the sparkle in his eye. He’s 6 years old and he’s very much an introvert. Not necessarily shy, I think he just picks and chooses his moments to be exuberant. Something about music seemed to really connect with him and I knew we’d found something that he could sink his teeth into.

Last week I went to drop him off for his usual music lesson and as I turned to leave him with his teacher, he looked up at me with giant tears in his eyes, “I want to go home with you Mommy” he said quietly. My heart just broke and I could see the deep, utter sadness in his little freckled face. After kneeling down in front of him, hugging him and asking him what was wrong, I realized that he couldn’t really tell me. He didn’t know what was wrong. He likes music lessons. He was just tired maybe. Or overwhelmed. I could see the exhaustion in his face. He wasn’t sure why, he just didn’t want to do music that day.

I realized that I can totally relate to that feeling. That feeling of exhaustion mixed with helplessness mixed with the blues. Sometimes I need to cry and I can’t even be sure what’s wrong. Sometimes I feel sadness or I feel overwhelmed and I can’t even put a finger on what’s triggering it. I am a busy person. I always have a bunch of projects going on, blogging, artwork, children’s book illustrations and all that on top of the business of being a Mom. It’s a lot. There’s always something that needs my attention. Some days exhaustion sweeps over me like a tidal wave and I get this overwhelming case of the blues.

I believe that’s just my soul telling me it needs a break. I just need to stop. I need to heal. I need fun. Friends. Laughter. Rest. Love. That’s all. It’s just time to stop for a minute and just be.

So I took him and his little sister for doughnuts instead of doing music that day. I’ve decided to give him the summer off of music. He’s only 6. There’s plenty of time in life for music lessons. Now is the time for doughnuts and lots and lots of love.

1 Comment

  1. sugarleg on June 21, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    sweet little O. what a poignant moment for you and him to share. his unease was calmed by your understanding and love, just as his relief that you acknowledged it and cared for him in that moment reminded you how much you need and value quiet time to reflect and recharge. beautiful. tell him Auntie J. (HIS FAVORITE NON-RELATED AUNTIE) misses him xoxo

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