Woooo hooooo! I’m super excited to welcome you to my all new website! I have been wanting to focus a little more on blogging and it just seemed like the right time to re-design my whole shebang. I worked with Michele Bergh of Be Inspired Design and I’m so grateful for her help.
I wanted a site that was more comfortable, like an old easy chair you can come to and hang out in. And I wanted it to be more me, more representative of who I am (and those ding-dang zigzags in the background are just my favorite part!). So go ahead and kick your feet up and hang out a while. I’d like for you to click around. Check out the new galleries of paintings, sign up for my newsletter and then come back as often as you like. This site is for you as well as me! I so appreciate the support I’ve received so far.
Life As I know It
Last week I wrote about a wonderful party I had been to. What I didn’t write about was a funny thing that happened at that party. I had a conversation that night that has just stuck with me. I saw an old college friend who I hadn’t seen in a long time. After catching up and chatting a while, she said “I read your blog and I just have one question for you: How are you so [bleeping] happy?”
I suppose it’s a valid question because I don’t really spend too much time writing about the things that suck in my life. And believe you me, there are a few of them. I guess I have assumed that no one really wants to read about that. Plus, my theory has always been to focus on the positive and so that’s the message that I usually try to get across here on my blog. But I don’t want to give the impression that life is always peachy keen. We all know it’s not.
Am I so [bleeping] happy? Of course not, not all the time. I’ve certainly had my share of loss and heartbreak. My mother died when I was 29 after suffering for about 10 years with an early onset of Alzheimer’s. That was extremely painful to live through. To watch the mother who raised and nurtured you, just disappear before your eyes little by little is pure agony. And just when I thought the heartbreak of losing her was going to be the toughest thing I was ever going to have to endure, my seemingly healthy father died in his sleep just two years later. Talk about total devastation. Have you ever been hit by a moving truck? That’s kind of what it felt like. Anxiety and fear were my best friends for a while after that happened. What’s gonna happen next? How can all these bad things happen so close together? Oh and did I mention that all the while, my husband and I were dealing with the issue of infertility and the fear that we might never be parents?
Yeah that wasn’t a great time for me.
I guess what I want to say is that I know what unhappiness looks like. It ain’t pretty. And I don’t really want to go there again. When I say things like “I choose joy” like I did in one of my previous posts, it’s because I truly believe that you can choose happiness. And I do. I choose it every day.
When my kids are running around in the morning before school, spilling their breakfast, pushing each other, crying, not listening to me, and generally acting like banshees: I try to remind myself to choose joy.
When we’re on our second hour of homework and my son is sitting in his chair sideways playing with the thread on his pants and not listening and it’s a half hour past bedtime, frustrations mounting: I try to remind myself to choose joy.
When I’m at my doctor’s checkup standing on the scale and my first thought is that it must be broken but then I come to the realization that I will never ACTUALLY weigh what it says on my driver’s license again: I try to remind myself to choose joy.
I will admit, these days my problems aren’t so dramatic and life altering. I have it pretty good. But I’m an artist and a Gemini so quite often I do find myself with a case of the mean blues anyway. But then I’ll see my son’s freckles and my daughter’s dimples and I will remember that I am blessed and lucky.
And gratitude helps me remember that everything I have is just enough.
I guess my new site is just so comfortable that it inspired me to let it all hang out. Thanks for hanging out with me.