On a deeper level you are already complete. When you realize that, there is a playful, joyous energy behind what you do.
I’ve been told I’m a restless soul.
I think that statement is very true and I’ve always considered that to be one of my downfalls. I’m always craving more. Always looking for the bigger, better experience. Never completely happy with what is.
But lately I’ve been wondering if all that is really true about me.
Is it bad to be a restless soul? I suppose it depends on how you look at it. Yes, I love to try new things and yes, I am always trying to better myself and reach new levels of self-awareness and achievement. In and of themselves, those qualities are pretty positive. I think where it becomes a problem is when I start to feel that there is a hole somewhere in my life that I’m trying to fill. I think sometimes I let self-doubt get the best of me and I just expect more and more of myself. That’s when the restlessness is at an all time high for me. My expectations of achievement can leave me struggling in disappointment.
But I’m trying. It’s a daily journey. I have a calling and I know that I am on the right path but challenges and dark moments still find me. When I push and toil and resist my inner joy, that’s when I experience disappointment. I’m no stranger to the blues (or as my favorite movie character Holly Golightly refers to them: the Mean Reds).
I know there are big things I still want to accomplish but I am trying to accept the simple fact that I am whole and complete today, in this moment, just as I am.
I am whole and complete today, in this moment, just as I am.
Even if I never accomplish one more thing, I want to be grateful for everything that has gotten me to today. I want to practice the art of allowing. Allowing my life to be exactly as it is. Allowing what is meant to be, be. To revel in the sweet moments. I am surrounded by love. I live in beauty. I am content. Everything else is just icing on the cake.
When I am able to truly feel comfortable with what is, that’s when I am at my most competent. When I focus on blooming where I am planted, everything seems to flow in the natural way of the universe. That’s when the amazing opportunities just seem to find me.
I am trying to take that restlessness I often feel and use it to move into the light of wonder. I want to harness that restless energy and allow it to make me better. To be curious. To give of myself. To challenge myself and to push myself to new levels. To channel those feelings into my art and express my emotions artistically. I have so much inside of me and my art is the best way I know to express it. I hope to inspire others. Maybe you feel that restless energy too.
But I want to always be confident in the knowledge that I am already complete exactly as I am and there is nothing outside of myself that will ever make me more so. That’s not always an easy notion for me to accept but each day brings a new opportunity for me to get there.