Discovering the Artist Within

28 Feb By

Pursuing art as a full time career is not something that I set out to do. It’s not even something I was necessarily looking for. In fact, it sort of feels as though art was looking for me.

Do you ever have the feeling that your inner voice is trying to tell you something? I have found that the older I get, my inner voice has gotten louder and louder. Or maybe I’ve just gotten better at listening to it. Because about 8 years ago, there were signs all around me pointing me in the direction of art.

I chose to study graphic design in college because I wanted to be practical. I knew I was going to need a job when I graduated and graphic design seemed to be a good way to put my interest in art to work. I had a great career in design and I was good at it. I worked for some wonderful design firms from San Diego to Chicago. And then I eventually set out on my own and started my own graphic design business. I thought this was my intended path. But little by little, I started to hear a whisper from my inner voice. Design felt like it was just a job. Definitely not a calling. And I knew deep down that there was something bigger calling to me. But what?

If I had to pinpoint the moment I made the switch in my head, it would have to be when a close heart friend and artistic soul (who was clearly brought into my life to show me some signs) said to me “You’re an artist.” Simple words. But I had never really thought of myself as an artist and it seemed to me a lofty thing to want to be. I had never even pictured how one would live life as an artist so of course, I protested “I’m a designer, I’m not really an artist”.

But those words stuck with me. Was I an artist? And what does that even mean? Maybe I could be an artist. I don’t know, is it even possible?

I realized that this was what had been calling to me. It was as though the pilot light of my heart had been ignited. And it was just waiting to be turned into a roaring furnace. So I looked for the signs. I went to art shows. I took art classes. I looked for my passion. I wanted to get that fire roaring.

And the day that I figured it out and created one of my first paintings, it was as though my life exploded with a happiness that I had never even known existed. This is it. I’ve found it. I knew it instantly.

It’s been a lot of years since that happened and I still feel like that flame of passion for art is burning bright. It has grown and changed over the years but it is definitely still the calling that I was feeling. My work comes from deep within me. And sometimes I don’t even know where it comes from. It’s as if it comes THROUGH me. As if some of my paintings just paint themselves. It definitely feels like a gift from the Universe and I will always be truly grateful.

I hope that my story might in some way inspire others to seek and pursue their passion. I believe that we all have a purpose on this planet and listening to your inner voice is the first step to finding it. Finding your passion makes you come alive. And as the saying goes, the world needs people who have come alive.

What is your heart whispering to you?

Filed Under: Authentically Yourself, Beautiful Things, Dreaming Big, Finding Your Passion 7 Comments

All You Need is Love (and sometimes flowers)

21 Feb By

Last week the world was filled with hearts and candy and flowers and love. But for me there is one more word that would best describe what my world was filled with: stress.

While some people view Valentine’s Day as an overly commercialized way to guilt people into spending money on frivolous gifts and expensive flowers, I have always viewed it as a sweet way to show someone you love them. And why not? What’s so wrong with having one day a year set aside to really say “I Love You” and do something special for the special people in your life? Nothing, in my opinion, and for that simple reason, I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day.

But this year, somewhere along the Valentine’s road, all the wheels fell off my love vehicle.

I think it all started when I decided that it would be fun for my kids to make these really intricate hand-made valentines for all the kids in their classes. After all, their mother’s an artist right? Shouldn’t she be able to help them put together some really special tokens of affection? Well, after the third hour of working on these little rascals, I was really wondering what I had gotten myself into. But that was just the beginning. I spent my Valentine’s Day delivering supplies to the school party, creating little goody bags for my husband and two kids, grocery shopping for a gourmet meal, working on my art and blog, and then after picking the kids up from school, heading home to create a fabulous Family Valentine’s Celebration. Whew! No sweat, right? I can be SuperWoman if I want to! Right? Right? Hello?

Well, as you can probably guess, it didn’t really go as planned. I was tired and stressed, not to mention feeling a little bit sorry for myself, and so when my husband finally got home and walked in with, um, no flowers… let’s just say that it did not go over very well. No flowers? NO FLOWERS? Not even a cheesy box of candy? (never mind that he did have a Valentine’s card for me with a lovely handwritten sentiment and never mind that he is always the most amazing gift giver, so clearly I’m spoiled and never mind that he is the president of a large company who is having some challenges at the moment) What was really important to me in that moment was that he walked into the house with no flowers. It was not good.

I had created all this expectation around the day. I had put too much stress on myself to be perfect and to be the most creative, fabulous mother and wife. Would anyone have cared if I had bought the pre-made valentines? Would my family have cared if we had ordered takeout? No. I had done this. I had created this mad expectation. And I was disappointed that it hadn’t gone as planned.

Needless to say, my husband felt terrible and apologized profusely. He sent me upstairs to have a hot bubble bath alone while he put the kids to bed. I felt much better. And what I realized is that Valentine’s Day is a day about love but it’s not the only day. Every day within a family is about love. It’s about helping each other out, supporting each other. Appreciating that your husband might have a lot of his own stress at work and accepting that he’s not always going to be perfect. And you know what? I don’t have to be perfect either. We are perfectly imperfect. That’s what makes us so perfect for each other.

Okay, so when I got home on Friday afternoon I was pleasantly surprised with this gorgeous bouquet of flowers. And even though I had already realized that I had overreacted and that Valentine’s Day should be about the love you give every day…. this bouquet still made me feel better.

Because, well, in my experience, (and men, don’t forget this) no matter what anyone says, flowers are always a good idea.

Filed Under: Balancing Motherhood and Self, Beautiful Things 11 Comments

Have No Fear

14 Feb By

My son learned how to ride his bike without training wheels last week. It feels like a gigantic milestone because we had been working on it with him for a long while. Basically, we had a hard time convincing him that it would be fun to ride his bike without training wheels. He brought up all these hard to argue points about why training wheels were just fine with him. You would think he was a little old man for how set in his ways he can be. Trying new things is not at the top of his list of fun. Anything he hasn’t done before seems to present him with a lot of “what ifs” and he is not a risk taker by nature.

So as you can imagine, when I saw that shift finally take place, when I saw the determination finally dance across his eyes and the confidence march up his little spine, I was elated. When I heard the words, “You don’t need to help me anymore Mommy, I can do it by myself” there was a pride I couldn’t contain. He had made the connection. He knew he was capable. And not only capable, he was gonna be darn good at it.

Seeing him sail across the asphalt, confidently pedaling and turning  just made my heart sing. The determination in his adorable little freckled smile was overwhelming for me. He was joyful. And that made me joyful.

I started thinking about how we all have a little fear of the unknown. What if I try something new and it doesn’t work out? What if I’m no good at it? Wouldn’t it be safer to stay where I feel comfortable?

I have felt this way so many times in my life and have had to force myself out of my comfort zone. Putting together an art show, starting a blog, reaching out to new friends, those are all things that are hard to imagine doing at first. But I can honestly say, I don’t think I’ve ever regretted putting myself out there. I think part of the joy of being alive is not knowing what waits around the corner. There’s beauty in taking a risk. And as they say, no risk, no reward. Life is meant to be lived.

So as I see my little man cruising happily down the street on his bike, I know this accomplishment has elevated his confidence and helped prepare him for the next time he is faced with something new. Once you learn to ride a bike, you will never forget how. The same holds true for taking risks. Because taking risks is something we can learn to be better at. We can learn to trust ourselves and really rely on the fact that no matter the outcome, we are always capable.

Filed Under: Beautiful Things, Everyday Musings, Finding Inspiration 7 Comments

A Tribe of “She”

7 Feb By

Women are powerful. We are mothers, sisters, daughters, caregivers, nurturers and friends. Our relationships with one another are sacred. The realization of this hit me deeply about 3 months ago.

I realized suddenly that I wasn’t connecting with other women on a regular basis like I really wanted to. I have three best friends that I’ve had since college. They are my soul sisters and will be for life. Unfortunately, I am long distance with all three of them so seeing them and feeling their energy on a regular basis is impossible at the moment. I also have three sisters. We are amazingly close and talk on the phone all the time. But again, none of them live in my zip code so our time spent together is maybe every other month at best. And I have a handful of local women friends but it seemed that when we got together, we usually ended up in “Mommy mode” talking a lot about our kids and school but we were never really going deep together.

I suddenly felt like I really wanted to connect with the women in my community. I wanted a tribe. I wanted power in numbers. A sacred circle. The power of the feminine. I wanted to feel connected with like-minded souls.

So I sent out an email to almost every woman I knew. Even the ones who were long distance. I just described this feeling. This need to connect. To discuss topics that we all face. To dig deeper together.

And the circle was created. We started out with about 9 of us and the plan was to meet every Monday for 5 weeks. But life and commitments sometimes get in the way, so our circle ended up being a sweet little circle of 4 amazing ladies. I created topics: finding our authentic selves, balancing motherhood and self, self care, finding our passions and dreaming big.

Magic began to happen. We learned things about each other we never would have known. We shared painful things and joyful things. We listened patiently as we each described our feelings, our hopes, our fears our desire to live our best life. We bonded. Last night we got together and our topic was “Dreaming Big”. I walked the girls through a fun exercise that I learned last year at the World Domination Summit where you each share a story about a peak moment in your life. A moment where you felt really alive and happy and you were at your best. Through the telling of that story, we each uncovered a word or a phrase that represents what we want to attract more of in our lives. These were our words: Energy, Purpose, Strength and Surrounded by Strong Women. I believe those words are profound.

Last night was supposed to be our official last meeting. But as everyone slowly picked up their bags and began to say goodbye, we realized that we didn’t want it to end. So we are planning to keep it going. Somehow. Some way.

I think our sacred tribe of women has been established. And I’m so grateful. And the best news is that there’s always room for more.

Filed Under: Beautiful Things, Finding Inspiration 12 Comments